Nickledick

Review

Thu, 20 Sep 2007 16:08:34 GMT

Wierdest week and a half ever.

Teri is leaving....Ill see her for like two weeks then poof.

I dont even know what to think.

Im going to live by myself....

Yah petty much scared shitless.

Going back to church.....

I need to see if it is still for me

Jill Derby wants to talk to me...

Dont know how to tell her NO

Havnt been wanting to go out till 4am

Im focused on school for once and now it feels like my "friends" dropped me

Times are a changin thats for damn sure.

Morning

Fri, 22 Jun 2007 05:08:49 GMT

This morning I woke up on the floor of Ashley/Josh's apartment.

Feedy Feedy (cat) was spooning me and Willy Wonka (puppy) was on the other side, and then there was Jacob sans pants snoring from the sofa.....summer has arrived.

I have a feeling I need to make this one count. By next summer I could hgave a very important big girl job, or be doing the same thing.

Ug.

Sat, 02 Jun 2007 04:28:29 GMT

Why would you want to run home and make a pot roast when you could go to he river, road trip, swing ect.

I guess I just dont get it cause I dont have it.

But it frustrates the shit out of me.

Grad.

Fri, 18 May 2007 22:18:39 GMT

Graduation.......TOMORROW.
Yikes.

Everyone is coming Alyse, Ashley, and Bacon spent tons of time getting their shifts coverd so they could come too. I have great friends old and new and this just proves it.

My mom is driving me fucking nutz and the 18 family members that came into town isnt making my life stress free thats for sure....but at this point I dont care. Im just excited.

PUPPY

Mon, 30 Apr 2007 17:17:55 GMT

Fist I would like to say Im getting a PUPPY !!!!!!
Chocolate Cocker he was born two saturdays ago.
Teri and I are still workin on the name the options are Harpo,Sharfenberger( berger for short), Charleston, and Milton ( for the founder of Hershey). It has to be a choc name. I get to go and pick him up June 18th.

I think this will be really good for me. I think its time I grow up a little, Im ready. I would love to be in a relationship and happy ...blah blah blah but thats not in the cards right now. I think its time I start taking care of myself and stop always worrying about others. I am so consumed in my friends problems and Im losin myself....I dont like it. Doesnt anyone realize I have my own problems, and I might need somebody to talk about it with....jeez.

I want a good summer free of this crap that I feel right now. I know that I like to know secrets, but I wish I didnt know this one. It just stresses me out and I dont need that right now.

I remember when all of us that were friends would just sit around and talk all afternoon and just have fun. I miss that. I miss alot of things.

Forget

Wed, 25 Apr 2007 07:46:29 GMT

I just want to forget how I felt.

Im glad were just friends.

This makes me fuckin laugh when you put it this way

Mon, 16 Apr 2007 21:08:54 GMT

I like a boy.
He likes a girl.
The girl has a boyfriend.
We are all friends.
None of us know who likes who.
I know that he likes the girl.
I know the girl likes the boyfriend.
She does not like the boy.
She knows that I like the boy.
She knows that she does not like the boy.
She likes her boyfriend.
The boy knows that she does not like him.
The boy does not know I like him.
Because,
I know he likes the girl.

And the boyfriend knows nothing.....

Wow my life is just plain silly.

Bad Monday.

Tue, 10 Apr 2007 22:52:39 GMT

He died on monday...and I didnt get to say goodbuy.
I didnt call on Easter, and I should have.

Through this all I have the best support system I could ask for..my friends.
Teri, Hailie, Megan, Zach, Ashley, Chelsea and everyone else all were there to keep my mind off things and stop me from driving to Oregon by myself in the middle of the night. I appreciate it more than anything.

Clifford Bailey was a good man and an excellent grandfather.I will miss him sooo much.

Life.....

Thu, 05 Apr 2007 03:22:59 GMT

Everything right now seems to be out of control and I dont have the answers. Usually I would just walk away in times like this but Im forcing myself not to, it kinda makes me wanna throw up in my mouth a little.

Maybe things will turn out different this time.

Thu, 29 Mar 2007 02:37:10 GMT

True love is rare, so when you find it don't let it go just because of a barrier you can't cross.

Ray H Wall

Sick to my stomach and dramatic

Sat, 03 Mar 2007 18:44:47 GMT

So I pretty much want to scream. It sucks when your right...again. People say I over react about this stuff.... and then she proves my point and laughs about it and blows it off like its no big deal. It feels like a big deal to me. Im the one alone, not her.

When the fuck does it get to be my turn. Just once.

I mean really when is it going to be me just me.

Very Sad

Thu, 09 Nov 2006 21:51:24 GMT

I feel hollow inside.

The past two days have been filled with lots of Goddamits.
All of us always knew it was a long shot, but you alway have that hope.....

But you know what? What we all wanted happened. The country is headed in a new direction, and that was Jill's dream and we all helped get it there. Im happy for that.

I can walk away saying I helped as Deputy FInance Director raise almost 2 MILLION dollers. And I have made some of the best friends a girl could have. And the friendships I had before only got stronger.

At times I wanted to just walk away from this expierence and never do something like this again. Then I was made part of a new family that I will never forget it . To people who dont work on elections this is so hard to explain. I have been running a race for the last five months and we crossed the finish line, just not before the other guy did.

Day two of not having a job.
Now I am putting my application in for the Presidential races.
Obama 08?

uucckkkk

Wed, 04 Oct 2006 22:32:03 GMT

Suffocating.....I want my life back . REAL BAD

yack

Sun, 24 Sep 2006 00:24:13 GMT

All I have to say is 45 days left and then I am free. Who convinced me to quite Starbucks....I want to hurt that person.

Wed, 02 Aug 2006 00:56:56 GMT

So I dont know whats up with me lately. Maybe its cause Im getting older but I seem to be putting off this Im grumply/not haveing fun vibe even if I am.

People keep makeing little things into big issues and I cant handle it at all anymore, I dont have time to. I work all the time and try to fit everything else into two days...word to the wise that doesnt work AT ALL now I just feel tired and drained all the time. I just keep thinking only till November then I can sleep and see my friends ( if their still there).

I got my break last week to go see my godson and my best friend in Texas. It made me realize that my stress is nothin compared to hers. She has a three month old, is trying to get out of the army and her husband is in Iraq that is alot of shit to deal with, but through all of that she is happy. It makes me wonder why i cant be that way, And it made me want a baby...eventually.

I hope that 22 isnt this stressful.....

Big Girl Job

Mon, 08 May 2006 00:03:37 GMT

Im gettting a big girl job...and it scares the hell out of me. Ta ta barista hello ass. finance director for Jill Derby for Congress....yikes. Im a little scared I wont have time for life, at the same time this might make me want to get out there more, so who knows.

Aufvietesehn Starbucks...hallo Politics.

Tue, 07 Feb 2006 21:37:18 GMT

I never write on this, but I think I should more.

So heres the update:

School is kickin my butt early this semester,only 1 more year....yes.

I think I wan to be a teacher/ librarian/ dammit Im confused

I miss my friends. This makes my heart hurt and makes me realize that I am an ass for not trying to keep in touch. But im trying to get better, with the people that matter.

I miss going to shows.
I will change this...if I ever get a night off.

Im going to be a god mother, i cant believe it. I am soooooo excited, and honored that they picked me.

My house for some reason smells like a old corndog......I think we need to clean BAD.

I am happy.

I was told I need to get my groove back ( thank you seth) So I have been trying but I think I need directions on how to do this cause Im pretty much suckin at it. Suggestions?

That is pretty much all I got for now.

Wed, 09 Nov 2005 00:45:17 GMT

I have been in the library for six hours already, and I know I have so much more to do.....I want the semester to be over now.
I feel like I havnt seen anyone in so long....But I have to do good this semester.
So I am here and I want to be at home....damn me for not haveing a computer at home.

Tue, 19 Jul 2005 03:29:04 GMT

Sooo I am going to be 21 in less than a month.....yay for going out and not being left at home yay...DD here I come
Sadness that my inner circle will be down to one in like two weeks....CALL ME
Alex will be back FOREVER when I come back from vacation. Ohhhh how the trio will reunite once again.

Firsts and lasts

Fri, 01 Jul 2005 21:16:01 GMT

I cant wait till I get out of this place....
Warped Tour in Sac.
B day in San Fran
then...
Eureka
Central Point
Portland
SAN DIEGO....
YESSSSSSS

OHHH ANd Im an Aunt now..to Douglas Ryan Bailey ( he already has huge feet for a baby...thats definitly a Bailey trait! )

And the Inner Circle is all in one town for prob the last time ever....crazy and sad

Mon, 16 May 2005 02:38:13 GMT

No more sckeletons.....the closets are empty.

ehhh

Tue, 10 May 2005 20:34:46 GMT

I have one more paper to go and I dont know why Im not starting it. Soon the most stressful semester of my life will be over, but not without a bang right? That bang was mothers day. One word WOW. Things will be different now. I now realize that I will be left alone in this place, I know I still have my friends but. My sister will go away and my friends will find boyfriends and stuffv and I will be here as always. Who knows whats in the cards for me but I will be here for two more years.

There are many things I strive to be but one is not my parents...I am so ashamed of them. I cant even describe it. I wish that I could shake them and tell them to get it together but I cant so unfortuantly I am walking away for awhile. I cant manage there probs, handle there addictions and live my own life. I will always be there but I dont know how to handle my own life I cant be responcible for theirs too.

I found out that one of my best friends from high school is engaged and pregnant. WTF I sure as hell am not ready for marriage, I didnt think she was either . SHe had all these big dreams that now are non exsistent wierd. Its funny how the last one to do it is the first one to pop out a kid...odd.

Well off to the writing....crap.

WHAT A DAY

Mon, 04 Apr 2005 06:35:13 GMT

Woke up this morning with one less hour of sleep...yuck
Hung out with Sara and my sister while my aunt stayed at the casino
Went and saw Jeff at work, wierd homeless guy kept staring at us so we left Aunt and Sara went to get on the plane......

At Home.....
Sal and Sarah had a huge fight. Teri and Sarah had a huge fight. End result we might not live here anymore = commuting from Gville or getting a studio with Teri, but she might move to Colorado so who knows...drama

At the Airport...
THe plane was delayed and my aunt didnt have her meds ( she has MS bad). She kept getting worse and worse and the plane wasnt coming. Christy and I had to go get her from the airport and take her to the hospital so she could get her meds.

At the Hospital....
We waited forever and watched Law and Order.

Back at home....
No work tomorrow called in :( I need the money but I also need sleep. No news about the living situation dammit.....

I am so looking forward to my bed right now.......

okay

Thu, 31 Mar 2005 19:41:07 GMT

SOOOO
Alex leaves on Monday, and my aunt comes on Friday which means I cant hang out with her at all. Its killing me I hate it. Where will I be without the rest of the trio. I mean I guess Im the most independant one but I cant emagine not going to shows with her or just hanging out....dammit why did her boyfriend decide to stay in San Diego.

I will have to learn how to deal with it just like I have to learn how to deal with all my guy friends haveing the hots for Teri. But other than Seth or OUR friends if I get asked one more time about what Teri's doing or stuff you will get a fucking earful. Call her, ask her, and if she doesnt answer well I guess you know.
Its not me being mean but I guess it feels like competion to a point. Example:
Ohh (blank) called me and wants to hang out tonight I think.
Reply: Really yah ( blank) called me five times already.
See how I get confused. Did this person want ot hang out with me or want to hang out with her...or both of us. We do de-attach.

WE LIVE TOGETHER- aka we know everything that goes on with each other EVERYTHING.

If your both our FRIENDS then its different, but if your my friend and dont really know her then dont put me in the middle of it...cause I dont care. I have enough boy problems of my own.
Ahh that feels good to write.

So my friend Kat told me that I will mever find a boyfiend if I dont get away from all my boys and actually look.....and she's right.

I love my friends and we have so much in common but they dont like me like that and thats cool I actually have no problem with that, less drama.
But now where do I look?

I like one guy and he's nothing like my fiends and it wonderful. Cause he doesnt know everything about me already and doesnt expect certain things from me, I dont have to prove my self to him, and not everyone knows him :) And he's kind of an ass...which is even better. WARNING: this will probubly never work out but he's nice to talk to.

So I will keep on looking.......

Alright back to homework...yuck

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Tue, 29 Mar 2005 04:28:10 GMT

I was so excited to have the week off from school to relax...now Im fucking restless...damit

I just started my homework....I need help.
After tomorrow the yellow beast should be operational and back to its full glory...yay

ALex leaves monday.....this makes my heart hurt alot alot alot...not quite sure how to deal with this......

I have decided to just let some friends go..this sucks.
Im sick of trying to make the effort and not getting any back in return. I know who my friends are and who arnt and I guess I just needed a slap of reality to realize I just dont know some people anymore..ehhhh

PS If your at school and busy with that you dont apply you will always be my friends cause I know how that stuff goes...RYAN and others :)
We will hang out when we both have time however long that takes, or I will see you in the library.